London elects first non-douchebag mayor

Britain's capital woke to a new political reality after Labour candidate Sadiq Khan became the first non-douchebag to be elected Mayor of London.


Non-douchebags are a minority in London, making up a little over 10% of the capital's population, and an even smaller percentage north of the river. In recent years the community has become more politically exposed, and some commentators expressed surprise that someone with no obviously glaring character defects could be elected to such a prominent role in a city that's teeming with Chelsea supporters, Audi drivers and other pricks.


"This marks a real change for London," commentator Dave Lambeth-Warke told us. "Both Mr Khan's predecessors were grade-A arseholes, and it was something of a surprise that the Tories' dog-whistle campaign playing on public suspicion of non-douchebags didn't gain traction."


However, Mr Khan is already facing controversy after an Evening Standard investigation revealed that his father may have driven a bus and raised his family in a council house. The newly-elected mayor faces allegations of dishonesty after claims that his campaign deliberately hid his humble origins from the electorate.


"It was certainly a surprise to me," one voter told us. "I certainly never heard him say anything about his dad being a bus driver."