Cameron urges compassion for foreign money

Prime Minister David Cameron has urged his fellow citizens to show greater compassion for the desperate foreign money clamouring to reach Britain's shores.

"Samantha and I were so moved by the pictures on television," Mr Cameron said. "You just think 'that could be my money.' It's heartbreaking."

The Prime Minister also criticised some of the harsh language used in parts of the press. "Words like 'swarming' are just so unhelpful," Mr Cameron lamented. "Mostly the migrant money just wants a chance to work - for my re-election, for instance."

The foreign cash often arrives in the UK after languishing offshore for years in squalid bank accounts. Frequently the money has fled persecution by the tax authorities in its home country.

Meanwhile, Mr Cameron's message is clear. "We have all been enrichened by the contribution that foreign cash has made to this country. I know I have. Britain, and more specifically the Conservative Party's bank account, will always be open."