Fossils suggest Britain was once good place to go on holiday

Careful examination of the fossil record suggests Britain's climate once made it an ideal holiday destination, scientists claim.

"Millions of years ago the climate in this area of north-west Europe was warm and dry," Professor Dave Wynde-Braker told us. "In fact it would have been remarkably similar to what you see today in parts of the world you would actually enjoy spending a two-week break."

Fossils suggest that plant-life had not yet been forced to adapt to surviving weeks of unrelenting driving rain during the summer months. Similarly, scientists have estimated that less intense cloud cover may have allowed through some actual sunlight between the months of October and March.

Meanwhile, tourists appeared heartened by the news that their British holiday experience may have been tolerable had they lived three hundred million years previously. "We had considered going to Spain next year," one holiday-maker told us as he attempted to eat a sand-encrusted Scotch egg in horizontal sleet on a Cornish beach this August. "But now I will stay in the UK again, once I have got my hands on a fucking time machine."